I’m not sure really what has been going on the last week or so, but I have been exhausted.
It might be something to do with the weather, because I have heard several people describe the same thing these last few days. But regardless of the reason, I have been having a hard time keeping my eyes open.
I saw Zero Dark Thirty for the second time the other night, and you know that when you are struggling to stay awake at 6:00 pm through that movie, that you must need to catch up on some sleep.
But anyway, regardless of this, this got me to thinking about spiritual exhaustion. How sometimes people go through periods, whether its days or much longer, where they feel like they are at the end of their rope. Wanting to pray, wanting to seek support, wanting to be positive and so forth, but not even knowing what more to do. Ever get like that?
Sometimes I think it is these times where God actually winds up speaking to us more clearly, because our minds are less focused on all of the things going on throughout the day. We are more vulnerable and seek out His guidance in our time of weakness.
It might not be right away, it might even take a long time. But I know for me at least that there have been many times where I have been feeling worn down for awhile when all of a sudden, completely unexpectedly, I have some sort of epiphany about what God is trying to teach me.
Now, for example, my brain is still feeling pretty fuzzy. The last few days I have had random moments where I would think “Oh! That’s a great topic for a blog post.” And now it seems to have gone blank. So if you are reading this you are probably thinking “Great, so why am I spending five minutes reading something that doesn’t have much of a point?”
But that in itself is such a true part of life. There are so many times when we get so busy, sidetracked, or short sighted that we just get worn out on life.
“Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I’m worn”
-Tenth Avenue North
Right now when I am having some of those times where I feel worn out, it can be tempting to turn to something like sleeping more than necessary, eating junk food, or watching too much TV, just to get some immediate comfort out of it. But really, that isn’t going to solve any problem. By turning to God though and admitting that I cannot handle all of this that is so tiring on my own, and asking for Him to direct my path, I am acknowledging that I want the control out of my hands.
Part of the frustration as well as beauty of life is that we don’t really know what the future will bring. Things could completely change tomorrow; I could meet someone who will have a major impact on my life, something could happen to my health…you get the point.
The comfort in this is that God knows our tomorrow. He knows where we have been, every thought we have ever had, and every dream we want to make happen. There is nothing that can be hidden from Him, and regardless of what we think we want, God wants what will ultimately bring us the most happiness and peace, which is the path that will bring us closer to Him. So if you are with me on that whole “Can I go nap now at 5:30 in the afternoon on a Friday?” boat right now, I encourage you to spend some quiet time reading the Bible, and pray for God to give you energy and the strength to get through the next few days!